FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
O’Neill Children Finally Return to School
Toronto, Ontario. September, 2009.
After what appeared to be the longest summer in recorded history, Tom & Madeleine O’Neill have, at last, returned to school. Their exhausted parents heaved a sigh relief as the bus finally pulled away from the corner early Tuesday morning.
“Boy, was that really only 2 ½ months? Felt like longer!” remarked the children’s father, Shane.
Both Madeleine and Tom were supplied with the usual accoutrements one would expect when preparing for a new school year; shoes, haircuts, pencils, lunchboxes and backpacks. It is worthy of note that neither O’Neill child chose supplies bearing cartoon or TV characters this year. “We’re not little kids anymore, sheesh”, said Madeleine as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Tom was perhaps the more excited of the two to return to school saying “I’m sick of the cottage!” Due to Toronto’s city workers strike, young Tom was unable to go to day camp, so remarkably, has spent virtually every day of the summer with his beleaguered mother.
The children’s mother, Martha O’Neill, was not immediately available for comment, due to the fact that she sprained her ankle attempting to leap-frog a fire hydrant yelling “I’m free! I’m free! Mimosa’s for mommy!”